BOFH D.I.Y Excuse generator

The Bastard D.I.Y Excuse Board, Manual Edition can be found here: http://bofh.bjash.com/ExcuseBoard.html (Copyright 2001, Simon Travaglia)

[main]

1,"Welp, it looks like we've got a [One] [Two] [Three] on our hands." 1,"Good thing you called, I think it's a [One] [Three] in your [Two]." 1,"I'll take a look, but if it's a [One] [Two] [Three] [Four], you may need to just buy a new one."
 * main

1,Temporary 1,Intermittent 1,Partial 1,Redundant 1,Total 1,Multiplexed 1,Inherent 1,Duplicated 1,Dual-Homed 1,Synchronous 1,Bidirectional 1,Serial 1,Asynchronous 1,Multiple 1,Replicated 1,Non-Replicated 1,Unregistered 1,Non-Specific 1,Generic 1,Migrated 1,Localized 1,Re-signaled 1,De-referenced 1,Nullified 1,Aborted 1,Serious 1,Minor 1,Major 1,Extraneous 1,Illegal 1,Insufficient 1,Viral 1,Unsupported 1,Outmoded 1,Legacy 1,Permanent 1,Invalid 1,Deprecated 1,Virtual 1,Unreportable 1,Undetermined 1,Undiagnosable 1,Unfiltered 1,Static 1,Dynamic 1,Delayed 1,Immediate 1,Nonfatal 1,Fatal 1,Non-Valid 1,Unvalidated 1,Non-Static 1,Unreplicatable 1,Non-Serious
 * One

1,Array 1,Systems 1,Hardware 1,Software 1,Firmware 1,Backplane 1,Logic-Subsystem 1,Integrity 1,Subsystem 1,Memory 1,Comms 1,Integrity 1,Checksum 1,Protocol 1,Parity 1,Bus 1,Timing 1,Synchronization 1,Topology 1,Transmission 1,Reception 1,Stack 1,Framing 1,Code 1,Programming 1,Peripheral 1,Environmental 1,Loading 1,Operation 1,Parameter 1,Syntax 1,Initialization 1,Execution 1,Resource 1,Encryption 1,Decryption 1,File 1,Precondition 1,Authentication 1,Paging 1,Swapfile 1,Service 1,Gateway 1,Request 1,Proxy 1,Media 1,Registry 1,Configuration 1,Metadata 1,Streaming 1,Retrieval 1,Installation 1,Library 1,Handler
 * Two

1,Interruption 1,Destabilization 1,Destruction 1,Desynchronisation 1,Failure 1,Dereferencing 1,Overflow 1,Underflow 1,NMI 1,Interrupt 1,Corruption 1,Anomaly 1,Seizure 1,Override 1,Reclock 1,Rejection 1,Invalidation 1,Halt 1,Exhaustion 1,Infection 1,Incompatibility 1,Timeout 1,Expiry 1,Unavailability 1,Bug 1,Condition 1,Crash 1,Dump 1,Crashdump 1,Stackdump 1,Problem 1,Lockout
 * Three

1,Error 1,Problem 1,Warning 1,Signal 1,Flag
 * Four