Tavern Chatter

1,[list]
 * main

1,[npc] and [npc] discuss a book they both read 1,a [npc] announces that while working in their fields, they found an old dagger 1,a [npc] boasts about his son beating up the guard captain’s son – then looks about furtively 1,a [npc] is crestfallen; their dog bit their best customer today 1,a [npc] is frustrated from dealing with sick cows 1,a [npc] frets about the rising costs of doing business 1,a [npc] is afraid a war may break out between the heroes’ home nation and an adjacent kingdom 1,a [npc] is saddened, having lost a silver button from their favorite waistcoat 1,a [npc] mourns the death of their pet cat, the best mouser they’d ever seen 1,[npc] patron is very tired; their infant child kept them up all night 1,[npc] patron talks about what they had for lunch that day 1,[npc] patron talks with a friend about their bottle collection 1,a [npc] regales a small audience about bold fashions worn across the sea 1,a [npc] talks about the time they saw the king’s palace – and how grand it was 1,a [npc] wonders why their son demands a pet turtle, when a dog would make more sense 1,a group of men complain about [npc] 1,a group of patrons play dice at a nearby table. One, [npc] is accused of cheating 1,a group of women complain about [npc] 1,in the corner, [npc] and [npc] play chess 1,in the corner, [npc] and [npc] arm-wrestle 1,a group of men complain about women 1,a group of women complain about men 1,a guardsman worries aloud about an escaped prisoner 1,a harlot flirts with a young man 1,a man arranges for his son to be apprenticed to a local [Fantasy NPC (Basic).Job_N] 1,a man complains that the flowers his wife uses to decorate their house make him sneeze, but she won’t change them 1,a man with very poor hygiene asks an attractive woman if one of his sores looks like it’s getting worse. The woman is repulsed, and doesn’t know how to answer 1,a plain-looking man tries to flirt with the barmaid, but she is uninterested 1,a table is debating whether or not the town needs more watchmen 1,a toothless old woman advises a young man with a toothache about what to do 1,a very hairy man insists that the town needs more barbers 1,a very old man is telling a young man how to grow walnuts without shells 1,a very thin man is talking about how his wife can’t cook 1,a very ugly young man with an abacus has discovered the law of averages, and has realized that if there were thirty times more women in town, it would be mathematically impossible for him to remain unmarried 1,a watchman is annoyed that a notorious pickpocket escaped from custody today 1,a wife complains about her husband’s hunting trophies. She can’t walk from the kitchen to the privy without being stuck in the ribs by an antler 1,a woman complains about the floors in her home; the wooden floors are too squeaky, and the tile ones are too cold 1,a woman complains that a skunk has taken up residence under her home. She blames her neighbor for luring it there 1,a woman describes a new dance to a young man, who isn’t listening 1,a woman is angry that her neighbor’s child threw rocks at her geese this afternoon 1,a woman is convinced that her son is the next great sculptor 1,a woman is worried that her son’s pet snake escaped 1,a woman tries to teach a song to another woman, who is tone deaf 1,a woman with poor hygiene explains to all who will listen about the evils of bathing 1,a woman wonders aloud why the town doesn’t use magic to remove sewage, instead of letting it flow down the middle of the streets 1,a young man asks everyone who will listen how to win a woman’s heart 1,a young man explains that wishing on stars doesn’t work; she married the other fellow 1,a young woman discusses wedding plans. The first item on the list is finding a husband 1,a young woman tells of her recent visit with her husband’s family. It was uncomfortable for anyone involved 1,an inconsolable man weeps over someone finding and taking his life savings from its hiding place 1,an old man begins telling a ghost story he’s told a hundred times before, and everyone ignores him 1,an old man found a strange article of men’s clothing under his young wife’s bed 1,an old man is worried about his daughter. She no longer listens to him 1,an old man swears that his oak tree talks to him at night 1,an old woman swears that a blackbird winked at her this morning. The bird must be a familiar of some sort 1,an ugly woman is giving romantic advice to the scullery boy; she suggests that he use licorice root to sweeten his breath 1,another man complains that his wife snores 1,another man is dejected because his wife threw all of his belongings into the sewer 1,complaints about the weather: it’s too hot to be comfortable, too wet for the crops, too cold for good hunting 1,four patrons discuss which season of the year is best, and each has a different opinion 1,four patrons try to establish which mushrooms are safe to eat 1,in a booming, bass voice, a hunter tries to explain how to move quietly in the woods 1,one patron can’t say enough good about his wife’s recipe for braised cabbage 1,one patron comments on an article of new clothing (waistcoat, shoes, gloves, hat) worn by another 1,one patron is deliberating with another about possibly running for political office 1,one patron is getting legal advice from another 1,one patron plans to build a fence around his cottage, because his neighbors stare into his yard all day 1,one patron seeks advice about thatching a roof from another 1,taxes, taxes, taxes 1,three patrons argue about which is the best type of wine 1,three patrons argue about why dragons hoard gold. The prevailing theory is that [dragontheory] 1,three patrons, active military personnel, discuss siege warfare 1,three townsfolk discuss how to grow the best radishes 1,three young people talk about whether or not dwarves float 1,two court fops wonder what games will be offered at the next market fair 1,two craftsmen resolve an argument they had at work today 1,two farmers agree to have an ox race to determine who has better livestock 1,two fishermen talk about “the one that got away” 1,two intoxicated patrons begin arguing about who can drink more. Bets are already favoring the smaller of the two 1,two men, already drunk, compose a poem about mead 1,two men, obvious bachelors, ponder where navels come from 1,two merchants discuss conversion rates between regional currencies 1,two merchants talk about the sermon they heard in the temple that week 1,two music enthusiasts argue about who the best minstrel in the kingdom is 1,two old men discuss how elves reproduce. The prevailing theory seems to be [elvestheory] 1,two old-timers complain about how lazy youngsters are these days 1,two older patrons reminisce about their lives as adventurers decades ago 1,two overweight gentlemen engage in a belching contest 1,two patrons complain about the condition of local roads 1,two patrons discuss why you should never trust a locksmith 1,two patrons play chess. They say nothing, but clearly dislike each other 1,two patrons quietly share a rumor that this tavern’s stew made a dwarf sick to his stomach 1,two patrons share a rumor about a local beauty eating earthworms 1,two patrons talk about a “secret invention,” but stop when they see a hero looking their way 1,two somber-looking fellows remember a recently deceased friend 1,two very old men exchange embellished war stories 1,two women are betting about where a housefly will land next 1,two women are laughing about how one of their children called the local tax baron “[insult1] [insult2]” that morning 1,two women argue about who has better furniture 1,two women share recipes for squirrel stew 1,two women talk about a third woman, who is having an extra-marital affair 1,two women, apparently scribes, argue about the world’s shape. The stronger argument suggests that the world is shaped like a peanut 1,two young men discuss peat-cutters; one thinks that, since they live in marshy areas, peat-cutters have spotted bellies and webbed feet
 * list

1,goblin 1,hobgoblin 1,bugbear 1,warthog 1,pig 1,goat 1,swamp 1,frog 1,ogre 1,troll 1,flat 1,potato
 * insult1

5,face 1,arms 1,head 1,man 1,kisser 1,legs 1,baby 1,feet 1,brain 1,kin
 * insult2

1,they burn everything else with fire, and gold is a relatively soft metal for sleeping 1,gold is a vital nutrient for dragons, and they must sleep on it to absorb this nutrient 1,they are related to crows, and are attracted by shiny things 1,they are saving up to buy a kingdom of their own 1,they distrust all other forms of currency 1,they are trying to learn the secrets of alchemy by working backwards; turning gold into lead
 * dragontheory

1,that exposing dead elves to moonlight causes baby elves to crawl from the corpse and start climbing trees 1,Spontaneous generation 1,that they are planted, and grow like trees 1,that they are stolen human children who have been stretched out by goblins 1,that they are conceived at fairy orgies 1,that they do not reproduce, and that there is a fixed number of elves in the world
 * elvestheory

5,[Quick NPC.main] 5,[Fantasy NPC (Basic).main] 5,a female [Fantasy NPC (Basic).Race] [Fantasy NPC (Basic).Job] 5,a male [Fantasy NPC (Basic).Race] [Fantasy NPC (Basic).Job] 1, 1,an androgynous [Fantasy NPC (Basic).Race] [Fantasy NPC (Basic).Job]
 * npc