Gonzo post-apocalypse starting item list

275,[article] 50,[no_article] 100,[Post-Apocalyptic weapons.main] 0,keep approx. probabilities after splitting into 2 groups
 * main

0,TO-DO: determine correct syntax to optionally pluralize dice-roll lines 1,NaN undefineds 1,NaN [zx] Allen wrenchess 1,NaN undefineds 1,NaN [zx] boxess of candy cigarettes / Lik-m-Aid 1,NaN [zx] butter knivess 1,NaN undefineds Dinty Moore beef stew 1,NaN undefineds 1,NaN [zx] copiess of (roll 1d6) (1-2) The Watchtower (3-4) random Chick Tract (5-6) mimeographed conspiracy theorist rant 1,NaN undefineds 1,NaN undefineds, expiration unknown (1-2 Sloppy Joes, 3-6 lo-cal fish and spinach soufflé) 1,NaN undefineds + [Dice.1d6] random heads, arms, legs, torsos, etc 1,NaN undefineds 1,NaN undefineds 1,NaN undefineds of Norwegian Black Metal 1,NaN undefineds 1,NaN undefineds of a minor celebrity 1,NaN undefineds. If they bash together they make a distinctive noise. Save vs Wis or make this noise constantly and habitually 1,NaN undefineds (no launch tube, 50% chance of being duds) 1,NaN undefineds 1,NaN undefineds “Jheri Curl” pomade 1,NaN undefineds nonsports trading cards with calcified stick of bubblegum 1,NaN undefineds 1,[dice.1d8] wax packs nonsports trading cards with calcified stick of bubblegum 1,[dice.1d20] pogs + slammer 1,[dice.2d6] seeds (for fruit trees) 1,[dice.2d10] Beanie Babies 1,2 chickens 1,4 oz. very finely ground chili powder. 1 oz. even finer ground cinnamon 1,5 “D” batteries in a woolen sock 1,5 horror movies (Beta format) 1,5 scented candles 1,10 feet of electrical wire 1,20 condoms 1,20 politically radical bumper stickers 1,62 Hostess cakes, individually wrapped 1,astronaut ice cream - [dice.1d4] packages 1,bandages 1,binoculars 1,explosive lipstick 1,football shoulder pads 1,freeze-dried lasagna, 50 lb. standard issue 1,hockey pads 1,keys to the local graveyard 1,Maxi Pads (economy size box of [Dice.1d100]) 1,orange plastic inflatable water wings 1,plumbing tools 1,pruning shears 1,spiked leather gauntlets 1,water purification tablets
 * no_article

0,Oct. 2014: article template adds a trailing space! Temp. workaround : wrap in {lcfirst:} 1,
 * article

18,backpack full of [backpack] 14,pair of [pair] 7,set of [set] 7,can of [can] 6,High School Letterman’s Jacket (AC 8, Letter in [letter]) 6,piece of “As Seen on TV” exercise equipment: [asot] 4,Bible ([bvers] version) 3,bootleg “[char]” T-shirt 3,karate gi with [color] belt 2,switchblade comb 2,video camera 1,“buy one, get one free” ticket to a local gun shop 1,“Collected Sayings of the Grognards 1967-1971” 1,“How To Pick Up Chix” book 1,“rain stick” filled with dried beans 1,sack containing an 8-Ball and [Dice.1d6] other Pool Balls 1,8-ball of dubious heroin (strong fruity smell; off-reddish color) 1,8-pack of batteries 1,9.4-gallon propane tank 1,10-foot extension cord 1,10-pack of cheap razor blades 1,12-pack of pop 1,14.4k modem, top of the line 1,20-lb. sack of ammonium nitrate 1,1970s book on astronomy 1,amp with 15-inch speakers 1,anvil 1,armored hockey mask (-1 AC) 1,artist’s detached hand (can draw one picture per day, will draw whatever is described to their best ability) 1,bag of [dice.1d4] rattlesnakes, a Mason jar of strychnine and a defaced Bible 1,bag of ball bearings 1,bag of dog poop 1,balaclava 1,baseball bat, glove, ball, and hat 1,basketball 1,bass guitar 1,battery-powered personal fan with neck strap 1,bayonet with universal adapter 1,BB/Pellet rifle (1d4+1 damage, but puts an eye out on a critical) 1,beaten copy of AD&D 1E DMG 1,birdcage 1,blown-glass “tobacco pipe” 1,BMX bike 1,bolo tie with silver & turquoise scorpion clasp 1,Book of Mormon in kevlar slipcase 1,book on 1950s American History 1,book titled “The World in 2010” 1,boombox 1,bowl made from a human skull, its inside painted with a “Grateful Dead” logo 1,box of matches 1,box of Velveeta 1,box with [dice.1d10] M-80 firecrackers 1,bread-making machine 1,brick of moldy cheese 1,bucket of lard 1,bunch of different mechanical parts 1,call center training manual 1,canned ham 1,car battery 1,car engine 1,carton of cigarettes 1,case of malt liquor 1,case of ramen 1,cat 1,caulking gun with Tolkien dwarf runes carved into it 1,chainsaw with “The Lord’s Prayer” delicately engraved on the blade 1,cheap plastic robotic pet (10% functions as familiar) 1,Cherry 2000 companion unit, processor only (you must find a body yourself) 1,coil of rope 1,comically large wrench 1,compass 1,complete set of 1983 baseball cards 1,complimentary copy of “Bhagavad Gita As It Is” 1,concertina 1,container of salt 1,Dan Fogelberg record album with flame-singed cardboard sleeve 1,demi-john of bad moonshine 1,detachable penis 1,dick of many things 1,dog bowl 1,Don Mattingly rookie card in indestructible collector case 1,elaborate mandala made from fingernails superglued to a board and painted with about 100 different shades of nail polish 1,electric wheelchair with cup holders 1,family scrapbook 1,fan-made Pip-boy 3000 1,fancy scarf 1,fender from a sports car 1,flare gun with [Dice.1d6] flares 1,flashlight 1,flood light 1,folding chair 1,food processor 1,fruit reamer (d4 damage) 1,gallon of barbeque sauce 1,gallon of lubricant 1,gaming system 1,gas mask 1,geiger counter 1,gimp mask with tube attachment 1,gingham dress 1,glow-in-the-dark checker set 1,glue-on fake beard 1,Goonie Stick (mace) 1,grappling hook and 50m of rope 1,great big silver-plated Desert Eagle revolver (roll 1d6: 1-2: real. 3-4: non-working replica. 5-6: cigarette lighter) 1,grenade-shaped lighter 1,guitar 1,hand grenade ([dice.1d10] damage, blast radius 10 feet) 1,hatchet 1,Hitachi Magic Wand™ 1,Hitler Youth knife that the creepy flea market seller had in the “special case” 1,Holland & Holland Express with a box of 10 .600 Nitro custom hollow-point ammo 1,home distiller 1,hot pink dreamcatcher (with hook for mounting on dashboard mirror) 1,ice scraper 1,inflatable sheep sex doll 1,IOU letter from a now-deceased friend 1,ironing board 1,IV bag (use to regain 1d4 hp) 1,jaunty hat 1,journal of an angsty teenager 1,kayaking oar 1,lawnmower 1,leather jacket with a sweet pentagram on the back 1,liger pup (yes, liger) 1,loaf of bread, a container of milk, a stick of butter 1,log of passwords to phone security systems 1,loudspeaker/megaphone 1,Maglite flashlight (can be used as club) 1,map of Buffalo, NY 1,Mason jar containing [Dice.1d8] pickled eggs 1,Mickey Mouse hat with ears 1,microphone 1,mimeographed copy of “The Anarchist Cookbook” bound in a pink unicorn 3-ring binder with page in the front listing family’s baptism & marriage records 1,motorcycle helmet (+1 AC) 1,movie sword replica (d6 damage, blade comes loose on a critical hit) 1,mummified cat 1,mummified human hand 1,Native American headdress 1,Navajo blanket 1,netting bag full of 10 dodge balls 1,novelty lighter shaped like a 30.06 round 1,novelty lighter shaped like a fist with extended middle finger 1,novelty lighter shaped like a smiley face 1,nunchaku (hardwood) 1,nunchaku (plastic & foam) 1,Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide (1986) bound in human skin 1,pad of paper and 5 pens 1,park bench 1,particle board partition 1,piece of starstuff, imbued with the Power of the Great Cthulhu (glows with evil green light, no other powers) 1,pigmy goat 1,Piñata, stuffed with (roll 1d6) (1-5) lead-tainted Mexican candy (6) fun-size Snickers and shit 1,pitted and corroded hood ornament of a Rolls-Royce 1,pizza-cutting knife 1,plastic UFO toy 1,pocket calculator 1,police badge 1,post-hole digger 1,practically unusable fantasy knife with resin mermaids and shit where the handle should be and a wavy blade that gets snagged on everything 1,prom dress 1,prophetic head of Billy Joel, lips sewn shut with piano wire 1,puppy dog 1,radio 1,random audio cassette where the tape is slightly warped from being left in the sun too long (roll 1d14) 1.GnR - Appetite for Destruction 2. Dead Kennedys - Frankenchrist 3. Queen - Greatest Hits I 4. Best of Steve Miller Band 1,razor wire-wrapped Louisville Slugger™ - does [Dice.1d8] damage. Opponents with 2 hd or lower must make saving throw or soil themselves 1,record player 1,reinforced leather greatcoat with KISS Army insignia, repurposed High School track & field medals 1,Ronald Reagan mask 1,Roomba 1,rusted PANCOR jackhammer assault shotgun, will explode if fired, still intimidating as hell 1,Satanic Bible 1,sealed, intact 40-oz bottle of King Cobra 1,sealed, intact 40-oz bottle of Thunderbird 1,self-help book 1,set of 4, 6, 8, 10, 12 and 30-sided dice 1,ShamWOW 1,sheet of paper labelled “for a good time call” with a list of phone numbers 1,shotgun 1,skateboard 1,slingshot 1,small broken power generator, is fixable 1,stapler with 20 staples 1,stick of dynamite 1,stick with an oily rag tied to it 1,strap-on dildo with harness made to look like Richard Nixon’s face 1,strobe light 1,Super Soaker 1,Teddy Ruxpin talking bear toy with cassette replaced with Iron Maiden’s “The Number of the Beast” 1,tequila bottle in the shape of a gun, which has clearly been opened and refilled with an unknown fluid 1,tiny pig wearing galoshes 1,tire pump 1,tool set 1,toothbrush 1,toy sheriff’s badge 1,traffic wand 1,trick knife with retracting blade and low-res picture of stripper lady on the handle 1,tub of Crisco™ 1,tube of anti-bacterial cream 1,tube of black mascara 1,tube of toothpaste (10 uses grants user +1 to reaction rolls, lasts 1 turn) 1,tuning fork 1,tuxedo 1,umbrella 1,velvet bullfighter painting 1,wedding dress 1,Weight Watchers points calculator chart and booklet: useful principally as a list of foods that can no longer be obtained 1,welder’s face mask 1,wok 1,wooden board with a nail in it 1,wool hat and gloves 1,working computer 1,wrestling belt 1,wrestling mask 1,WWI Trench knife
 * thing

1,Sauna pants 1,Gator Grip Universal Socket 1,Ronco Veg-O-Matic 1,Vidalia Chop Wizard 1,Total Pillow 1,Eggstractor 1,StarShower Laser Light 1,Ronco Pocket Fisherman 1,Aqua Camel - Self Watering Planter 1,Thighmaster 1,Shakeweight 1,Belly Burner (electrical pad) 1,Ab Rocket 1,Isoflex 7X 1,Total Body Workout Jelly
 * asot

1,New International 1,King James 1,Hotel-room Gideon 1,New World translation 1,My first children's 1,Teen X-treme!
 * bvers

1,broken computer parts 1,canned food (no labels) 1,children’s books 1,commie propagander 1,cork tiles 1,different board games 1,different sex toys 1,dirt and sand 1,knitting needles and yarn 1,model paint 1,Nerf guns 1,other backpacks 1,plastic bags 1,plastic cups 1,scraps of cloth 1,scraps of paper 1,severed doll heads 1,XXXXXL clothing
 * backpack

1,Bart Simpson 1,Mickey Mouse 1,Peeing Calvin
 * char

1,cashews 1,gas (full) 1,hairspray 1,Mace 1,motor oil 1,paint (40L) 1,peas
 * can

1,black 1,brown 1,orange 1,purple 1,white
 * color

1,Badminton 1,Bear Baiting 1,Cheer 1,Football 1,Gladiatorial Combat 1,Tennis
 * letter

1,acid-washed jeans (1-5) K-Mart brand (6) Levi’s 1,aviator sunglasses 1,boxing gloves 1,child-size plastic vampire teeth 1,football cleats 1,hippy/granny glasses 1,pom-poms 1,rollerblades 1,rollerskates 1,star-shaped sunglasses 1,Vietnam-era military surplus combat boots 1,wine glasses 1,wraparound sunglasses 1,X-Ray Spex
 * pair

1,bocce balls 1,car keys 1,crutches 1,false teeth 1,QVC Ginsu™ knives 1,the Firefox books 1,walkie talkies
 * set

6,[dice.1d6] 1,a 1,one 1,two 1,three 1,four 1,five 1,six 0,if the plural routine could be forced to choose plural, "a couple of", "a few", "a handful of", "several" etc. could also be added here
 * zx