50 Unexpected Events

Originally published in Dungeon magazine #134; “50 Unexpected Events”:

1,A beautifully-arranged shop-window display of glasses collapses as one PC looks at it 1,A cart laden with statues of [Creatures.Basic Fantastic] passes by 1,A cat is hit by a cart and walks away unscathed 1,A chicken falls from an upstairs window and lands on one PC 1,A colorful parrot flies by, pursued by its owner’s frantic family 1,A dashing bard gives flowers to one PC, then rushes off singing about spring 1,A dog begins barking furiously at one particular PC 1,A door on a shop falls into the street, exposing a naked dwarf 1,A female gnome gives one PC a copper for some soup 1,A flock of sheep rush past. Two days later, a man asks the PCs if they’ve seen his sheep 1,A group of religious maniacs claims the world will end in ten minutes 1,A gypsy peg seller warns the PCs that they are cursed (unless they buy her pegs) 1,A halfling says that he is lost and looking for food, and would the kind heroes lend him some money? 1,A hot-chestnut seller yells, “I’ve had enough of this dead-end job!” and walks off smiling. Later he is seen selling cloaks on a street corner 1,A huge crowd of children walks past dressed as scarecrows, singing songs about seeds and naughty birds. A disturbing number of starlings follow them down the street 1,A jester begins to cry as he is heckled by a group of nasty gnomes 1,A large group of well-dressed men walks past, holding plans and talking about demolishing streets. They end up having a fight 1,A madman claims to be a shape-changed [Animal.fantasyCreature] 1,A man comments to one PC that he’s seen a gliding moose-eagle, but not a flying one 1,A man falls off a ladder into a duck pond. As he falls, he screams, “Not again!” 1,A man on fire rushes out of a smithy and leaps into the nearest duck pond 1,A man works on a twenty-wheel wagon and shows it to unimpressed dwarven clients 1,A nearby child begins screaming about monsters 1,A quartet of clowns somersaults past 1,A spade seller approaches the PCs with his wares 1,A sudden gust of wind blows everyone’s hats off. Two minutes later, the same thing happens again 1,A thatched roof on a house suddenly sags (the house is empty) 1,A town crier botches their speech 1,A town guard asks one PC if he knows Dag Wibberley, the notorious ferret breeder, wanted for breeding ferrets without a license. As the guard leaves, he remarks on one PC’s likeness to Dag, and warns him about illegal ferret breeding 1,A trio of old ladies remark on how handsome one PC is, and how he reminds them of a young [Formal Names.Start] 1,A turnip rolls past the PCs, hotly pursued by children 1,A village idiot informs one PC that their hair is on fire. When his mistake is pointed out, he shouts that next time he won’t bother telling them 1,A wagon laden with fruit stops next to the PCs, the horse refusing to go a step further 1,A woman calls after a PC by name, but it soon becomes apparent that she’s calling her dog … who just happens to share the PC’s name 1,A woman dressed in a [Creatures.Animal] costume approaches the PCs, asking if they know the way to the village hall. If they don’t, she begins crying hysterically 1,An elderly half-orc warns the PCs to “beware the highlands.” 1,An elderly lady gives one PC a blackberry pie, claiming that he looks “a bit thin.” 1,An enraged wife chases her husband with a kipper 1,An old dwarf leans from a window above and abuses one PC about their dress 1,An old woman rants about the “lack of discipline these days” and directs her ire at two of the PCs 1,Clouds of dust billow from a nearby building and seven builders come out coughing 1,Dogs howl as the PCs draw near, but mysteriously fall silent when they are approached 1,Dwarves hold a belching contest outside a pie shop 1,The church bells sound the hour, but the striker breaks halfway through 1,The church strikes the hour, but doesn’t stop and keeps chiming all day and half the night 1,The heroes are given a free bottle of Jolie’s fruit wine (which is vile) as part of a promotion. Later they find Jolie in the village stocks 1,Three slates fall off of a roof at a passing wizard’s feet, who winks at the PCs and calmly carries on 1,Twenty guards stand around a broken heavy catapult, all blaming each other for dropping it first. Eventually a huge brawl takes place 1,Two lovers sing to each other, oblivious to everyone around them 1,Two men walk by, arguing about cabbages as they go
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