One Hundred Meals

First published in Dungeon magazine #133; “One Hundred Meals”:

1,“Devil’s Tail” venison sausages, soaked in a salt-and-hot-pepper brine 1,“Gorgon Breath” stew made from lizard meat, hot peppers, and onions, served over a mixture of water and goat’s milk 1,A thick bowl of seafood soup, served with crackers 1,Asparagus soup and pan-fried mackerel with gooseberry sauce 1,Bean stew thickened into a pudding with tapioca flour, scooped up with hollowed-out stale bread 1,Bear liver with onions and garlic, grilled over an open fire, served with pickled peppers and ale 1,Beef and marrow pies, served with hare soup and bread slices fried in butter and wine 1,Beef meatballs in a sauce of almond milk and rice 1,Beef tenderized with black peppers and cloves, wrapped in fern leaves and baked in clay ovens 1,Black bread and chicken candied with cinnamon and honey, served with coffee 1,Boiled beans and strips of old roc jerky 1,Boiled clams and lobster served with yaga, a drink made by draining the sap and brewing the leaves of a local vine 1,Boiled crayfish and porpoise pudding, served with lemon water or wine 1,Boiled eels slit down the middle and filled with rice and beans 1,Bread pudding with eggs and gooseberry tarts 1,Bread soaked in horse blood and milk and lightly fried 1,Centipede-wrapped onions roasted over coals, served with onion wine 1,Chicken cooked with thyme and ocher, wild carrots, and spring water 1,Chopped shrieker, soaked in a beef bullion and fried with beans 1,Cobra soaked in strong wine and roasted in the skin, served with olives and pickled lemons 1,Cooked root vegetables with breadcrumbs and gingerbread for dessert 1,Crocodile meat sliced thin and seared in peanut oil, served with sliced turnips and fresh berries 1,Curried goat with rice and peas, served with wine or strong rum 1,Deviled eggs stuffed with cheese and manticore meat, served with fried tomatoes 1,Dried and roasted squids, served on sticks 1,Dried chunks of salted pork, covered in cassava paste and aged, served with plenty of cider 1,Duck eggs fried in fat and red peppers, served with apple cider and cranberry juice 1,Egg and spinach pie 1,Elk ribs covered in gravy made from blood and ground oats 1,Figs and dates with flaky pastries and rice 1,Flat breads, nuts, melon slices, and tea 1,Fried bacon and eggplant served with lots of ale 1,Fried trout stuffed with smaller fish and a single olive, served on a bed of celery and chard 1,Fried whale meat served with large chunks of blubber and dried berries 1,Giant shrimp grilled in sunflower oil, covered in coarse salt 1,Goat cheese, baked pears, and bread 1,Goat’s tongue sliced thin, boiled with bamboo shoots and basil, served with weak wine 1,Griffon meat boiled with red peppers and whey, heavily salted 1,Hard-boiled ostrich eggs, sliced and served with tomatoes and asparagus 1,Hippogriff jerky boiled with peanuts, barley, and hops 1,Jellyfish, scallops, and red kelp, all fried in whale oil 1,Large ants seared in peanut oil and spices, crushed into a paste, then molded into small balls and deep fried 1,Large pieces of oat bread and a viscera plate served inside small badger skulls 1,Large turkey leg and boiled potatoes, served with thin mead 1,Live, juicy beetles in a sticky bed made from tapioca flour and mustard 1,Locusts fried with butter and yams 1,Mastodon steaks roasted and served on the spears that brought the animal down 1,Mastodon meat pies, with ale served in tall ivory mugs 1,Monk fish stuffed with mushrooms in a mint dressing 1,Mushroom pasta with sauce made from minced lizards, garlic, and zucchini 1,Mutton and “ink pudding” made from chopped walnuts and aged walnut husks 1,Mutton cooked in garlic and large chunks of bread fried in lard 1,Onions with cumin sauce and hard bread 1,Otyugh thighs soaked in brine for a year, tenderized with a warhammer before roasting 1,Overripe plums, almonds, dried oatcakes, and mead 1,Ox blood mixed with ox milk and a little cinnamon 1,Ox ribs, cheese, and black bread 1,Pastries made with almonds, pine nuts, and honey, served with wine 1,Pastry made from salted fish meats and dried coconut 1,Pickled herring, pickled onions, pickled carrots and plain rice 1,Pig brains mashed in wooden troughs, cooked by adding boiling pepper water 1,Rat meat stew 1,Raw, freshly killed wild boar, served with lemons and salt 1,Roast duck and artichokes served on silver plates, plus large silver mugs filled from a fountain of fine red wine 1,Roast lamb stuffed with bread, walnuts, peanuts, and coriander 1,Roast mutton stew with wild carrots, lettuce, and celery, served with fresh bread 1,Roasted asparagus, tomatoes, eggplant, and artichokes, followed by coffee and almond tarts 1,Roasted boar’s tail with hot sauce and cold fish soup 1,Roasted hazelnuts and fresh apples with a strip of bear jerky and a wedge of ripe cheese 1,Roasted horse legs and horse-marrow pudding, served with black bread and ale 1,Roasted lizard on a stick, and wine served from a bottle containing a snake 1,Roasted mealworms and waxworms, seasoned with salt and paprika 1,Roasted Mice, stuffed with basil and bread crumbs 1,Roasted pigeon served with small tomatoes, wild grasses, and crumbled goat cheese 1,Roasted tarantula with hairs carefully singed off and fangs used as toothpicks 1,Rye bread spread with lard, washed down with a strong, dark ale 1,Scorpion roasted in the shell, served with goat meat and potatoes 1,Sea-turtle stew cooked in the shell, eaten communally with pieces of flatbread 1,Seven small courses of freshly boiled fish, followed by kelp pudding and soft-boiled turtle eggs 1,Shark steaks with asparagus and sliced tomatoes, followed by tea and small raisin pastries 1,Shelled snails and thick chunks of octopus tentacles, wrapped in seaweed and roasted 1,Shepherd’s pie made with ox meat, peas, and mashed turnips 1,Shish kabobs of swamp grasses, tulip bulbs, and breaded frogs 1,Silk grubs cooked in peanut oil and mint, served with fermented yogurt drinks 1,Sliced plantain fried with coconut and nuts 1,Slow-roasted badger, split, filled with oat and potato mash, and eaten communally 1,Sylvan stag meat spit-roasted over aged treant wood, served on a clean bed of dryad hair 1,Smoked fish, served with peas and strips of dried melon 1,Songbird pudding and roast mutton with soft cheese and oatcakes 1,Soup made with hyena meat, wild rice, and wild carrots, followed by fresh fruit 1,Spinach and egg tarts with honey-roasted walnuts 1,Spit-roasted dire boar left over from last week and stored in a root cellar, served with cheese and sweet wine 1,Spit-roasted monitor lizard basted with salt water and seal oil 1,Spit-roasted stork, with the head cooked separately, served to the most honored guest 1,Squirrel and onion soup served in large mugs, with cheese curds and rye bread on the side 1,Stew of skinned bats and black morel mushrooms, served over toasted bread 1,Strips of fried small game meat and mashed turnips, all covered in gravy 1,Thick slices of giant beans, roasted and served with vinegar and salt 1,Thick squirrel meat and cabbage stew, covered with melted cheese and breadcrumbs 1,Thin, dried fish served with green beans and spiced apple cider 1,Venison custard with peas and beans 1,Vultures stuffed with saffron rice, covered in paprika 1,Wild bison steaks, cooked up rare, seasoned with onions and garlic salts
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